We’ve all had a moment or two (or a thousand) when we’ve experienced guilt over our less-than-stellar parenting. We are all just imperfect people, trying to navigate the impossible world of parenting, not knowing what we’re doing half the time. 🙂 We are teaching our kids how to walk, talk, eat, wipe, sleep, wash, make their bed, get dressed, tie their shoes, brush their teeth, do their hair… and every single time we do these things, they make it a little harder than it needs to be, and we have to start over.
Making it through the day without losing our mind is the goal. 🙂
Here are 15 of my “momfessions” (aka the things I’m afraid to tell you):
- I give away my kids stuff.
When my older two won’t go to their playroom filled with toys and entertain themselves, I start making a pile of toys, dolls, and stuffed animals and put them into garbage bags. I tell them I’m going to give them to kids “who will appreciate them”. I also throw away most of the artwork they bring home from school because you can only have so many macaroni-glued, sparkle glitter butterflies and paper plate animals in your life.
- I scare my kids.
I jump out at them, make monster voices, chase them, watch scary movies with them, tell stories in the dark. My husband tells me this isn’t normal 🙂 but I love it.
- I take the easy way out.
If we run out of milk, instead of going to the grocery store with the kids, I drive through Chik-Fil-A and buy a couple of individual ones that will last us through the day. There’s no way I’m taking them into a store to buy one thing.
- I threaten.
During the holidays, I threaten the kids to behave or else I will text Santa (since he has an iPhone) and tell him to skip over us this year.
- I parent inconsistently.
I don’t parent my children the same. I always swore I would be a consistent mom and treat each child exactly the same, regardless of gender or personality, but I’ve learned I cannot do that. Every child is different and challenges their parents differently. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve had to learn… and I’m still trying to figure it out.
- I want to be left alone.
Sometimes I hire a sitter just to leave the house and sit in my car in the target parking lot. Time by myself is practically non-existent once I became a parent. And as an independent woman, free time is the one thing I miss the most… well that, and sleep.
- I yell.
Sometimes I get so frustrated with the older two for not listening, punching each other, screaming, being too rough, whatever… that I yell at them. I really wish there was another way, because when I was a child and my parents yelled at me, it made me feel nervous and scared. But… it gets their attention and it’s effective.
- I take a shower when I can.
I’ve gone 5 days without a shower before. I’m not proud of it. But honestly, during that newborn stage, sleeping is more important than being clean.
- I procrastinate.
I still haven’t finished writing thank-you notes from my son’s birthday party… from 3 months ago. I’m doing the best I can.
- I’m on my phone way too much.
My phone has everything I need… camera, video, phone, text, news, weather, etc; it’s my biggest source of distraction. I’m trying to be intentional and not use it when I’m with the kids because I never want them to think it’s more important than them. That’s easier said than done…. but I am trying.
- I didn’t like nursing.
I always preferred pumping to nursing. Most would say I’m crazy because pumping requires extra gear, washing bottles, etc. but pumping meant freedom to me. If someone else could help me feed my babies so I could rest, and I could know how much the baby was eating, that was huge for my sanity.
- The kids had nannies.
When Chris and I both worked outside the home full time, we had nannies to take care of the kids. Sometimes when I mention the word “nanny” people immediately judge. That’s confusing to me because most people have help from their family or take their kids to daycare. We didn’t have family nearby, so what were we supposed to do? Our nannies saved us. I could still cry about it. They loved our children and we wouldn’t have survived without them.
- I haven’t exercised in over 2 years.
Like in a gym with real exercise equipment, a class, running… nope, not for over 2 years. And I know that’s why I’m tired all the time. I keep telling myself I’m getting exercise with the kids… but really, I’m not.
- I take meds for anxiety.
After my second child, my anxiety became too intense for me to bear. At times, I felt like something terrible was about to happen, and my heart raced and body temp skyrocketed. The feeling was nearly crippling. I talked to my doctor about it and she prescribed medication. I have taken it for 5 years now (with the exception of pregnancy & breastfeeding) and it’s been a game changer in my life.
- I hate cooking.
I wish I enjoyed cooking for my family, but most of the time, I just don’t. These days I’m more of a short-order cook.
So, do you feel better about yourself now? 🙂 I hope being honest about the areas in my life that I’m not proud of, will encourage you to be transparent about who you are. We really shouldn’t judge someone else’s choices because we don’t have any context for the path she walks every day. We all need grace and encouragement. And a little humor.
What would you admit if you weren’t afraid of being judged? It’s your turn to spill the beans! I want to read your comments!