Mom Confessions

Mom Confessions

We’ve all had a moment or two (or a thousand) when we’ve experienced guilt over our less-than-stellar parenting. We are all just imperfect people, trying to navigate the impossible world of parenting, not knowing what we’re doing half the time. 🙂 We are teaching our kids how to walk, talk, eat, wipe, sleep, wash, make their bed, get dressed, tie their shoes, brush their teeth, do their hair… and every single time we do these things, they make it a little harder than it needs to be, and we have to start over.

Making it through the day without losing our mind is the goal. 🙂

Here are 15 of my “momfessions” (aka the things I’m afraid to tell you):

  • I give away my kids stuff.

When my older two won’t go to their playroom filled with toys and entertain themselves, I start making a pile of toys, dolls, and stuffed animals and put them into garbage bags. I tell them I’m going to give them to kids “who will appreciate them”. I also throw away most of the artwork they bring home from school because you can only have so many macaroni-glued, sparkle glitter butterflies and paper plate animals in your life.

  • I scare my kids.

I jump out at them, make monster voices, chase them, watch scary movies with them, tell stories in the dark. My husband tells me this isn’t normal 🙂 but I love it.

  • I take the easy way out.

If we run out of milk, instead of going to the grocery store with the kids, I drive through Chik-Fil-A and buy a couple of individual ones that will last us through the day. There’s no way I’m taking them into a store to buy one thing.

  • I threaten.

During the holidays, I threaten the kids to behave or else I will text Santa (since he has an iPhone) and tell him to skip over us this year.

  • I parent inconsistently.

I don’t parent my children the same. I always swore I would be a consistent mom and treat each child exactly the same, regardless of gender or personality, but I’ve learned I cannot do that. Every child is different and challenges their parents differently. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve had to learn… and I’m still trying to figure it out.

  • I want to be left alone.

Sometimes I hire a sitter just to leave the house and sit in my car in the target parking lot. Time by myself is practically non-existent once I became a parent. And as an independent woman, free time is the one thing I miss the most… well that, and sleep.

  • I yell.

Sometimes I get so frustrated with the older two for not listening, punching each other, screaming, being too rough, whatever… that I yell at them. I really wish there was another way, because when I was a child and my parents yelled at me, it made me feel nervous and scared. But… it gets their attention and it’s effective.

  • I take a shower when I can.

I’ve gone 5 days without a shower before. I’m not proud of it. But honestly, during that newborn stage, sleeping is more important than being clean.

  • I procrastinate.

I still haven’t finished writing thank-you notes from my son’s birthday party… from 3 months ago. I’m doing the best I can.

  • I’m on my phone way too much.

My phone has everything I need… camera, video, phone, text, news, weather, etc; it’s my biggest source of distraction. I’m trying to be intentional and not use it when I’m with the kids because I never want them to think it’s more important than them. That’s easier said than done…. but I am trying.

  • I didn’t like nursing.

I always preferred pumping to nursing. Most would say I’m crazy because pumping requires extra gear, washing bottles, etc. but pumping meant freedom to me. If someone else could help me feed my babies so I could rest, and I could know how much the baby was eating, that was huge for my sanity.

  • The kids had nannies.

When Chris and I both worked outside the home full time, we had nannies to take care of the kids. Sometimes when I mention the word “nanny” people immediately judge. That’s confusing to me because most people have help from their family or take their kids to daycare. We didn’t have family nearby, so what were we supposed to do? Our nannies saved us. I could still cry about it. They loved our children and we wouldn’t have survived without them.

  • I haven’t exercised in over 2 years.

Like in a gym with real exercise equipment, a class, running… nope, not for over 2 years. And I know that’s why I’m tired all the time. I keep telling myself I’m getting exercise with the kids… but really, I’m not.

  • I take meds for anxiety.

After my second child, my anxiety became too intense for me to bear. At times, I felt like something terrible was about to happen, and my heart raced and body temp skyrocketed. The feeling was nearly crippling. I talked to my doctor about it and she prescribed medication. I have taken it for 5 years now (with the exception of pregnancy & breastfeeding) and it’s been a game changer in my life.

  • I hate cooking.

I wish I enjoyed cooking for my family, but most of the time, I just don’t. These days I’m more of a short-order cook. :)[/vc_column_text]

So, do you feel better about yourself now? 🙂 I hope being honest about the areas in my life that I’m not proud of, will encourage you to be transparent about who you are. We really shouldn’t judge someone else’s choices because we don’t have any context for the path she walks every day. We all need grace and encouragement. And a little humor.

What would you admit if you weren’t afraid of being judged? It’s your turn to spill the beans! I want to read your comments!

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26 Comments

  1. Melissa
    August 6, 2017 / 9:22 pm

    I can relate to ALL THESE! Thank you for sharing!

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 7, 2017 / 2:55 am

      Of course! Thank you for reading!

  2. Christi
    August 6, 2017 / 10:17 pm

    I can relate to nearly all of these. I COULDN’T nurse and that nearly broke me with baby #1… the guilt threw me into PPD & it was a dark time for me. I try to share that with all of my friends having babies so they won’t feel alone if it doesn’t work for me or if the experience PPD for another reason. You rock! Love you!

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 7, 2017 / 2:57 am

      Christi I love that you are going ahead and telling your friends what they might encounter. Not enough women talk about it! Love you too!

  3. Amy Strickland
    August 6, 2017 / 11:41 pm

    But you love it them. They won’t remember your “blunders” because I say to my now teens “do you remember…” and they say nope!!! All that time I felt guilty and they have no recollection. I’m in a different phase -Adolescent Mom- and I’m not doing it perfectly but my kids know I love hem and we hope to get through it all with lots of grace!!!

  4. Amy Strickland
    August 6, 2017 / 11:42 pm

    But you love them. They won’t remember your “blunders” because I say to my now teens “do you remember…” and they say nope!!! All that time I felt guilty and they have no recollection. I’m in a different phase -Adolescent Mom- and I’m not doing it perfectly but my kids know I love hem and we hope to get through it all with lots of grace!!!

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 7, 2017 / 2:59 am

      You are a great mom Amy!! I’m so blessed our paths crossed when they did!!

  5. Sandi Meeks
    August 7, 2017 / 12:22 am

    My favorite time of the day is the 30 minutes that I drive alone in my car to work. The radio is off and it’s quiet. Especially after vacation that next day going in is glorious. I totally get the alone part. ?

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 7, 2017 / 2:59 am

      YES! I miss those quiet drives into work!

  6. Jennifer Weber
    August 7, 2017 / 12:55 am

    I feel embarrassed that one child feels overwhelming to me and can’t image having more.

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 7, 2017 / 3:05 am

      One child is totally overwhelming!! I love your honesty. I think going from no kids to 1 kid is the hardest!

  7. Gwen Simonetti
    August 7, 2017 / 2:13 am

    Carli you have such a way of expressing what we have all been through..only mine journey was over 30 years ago but just as challenging at times…
    Keep sharing…

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 7, 2017 / 3:06 am

      Thank you Gwen!! I appreciate your kind words, as always.

  8. Kayla F.
    August 7, 2017 / 3:01 am

    I can identify with so many of these, but I’ve definitely gone through a drive-thru to avoid hauling the kids in the store for milk, I hate breastfeeding (I go to exclusively pumping as soon as I can, and I never made it breastfeeding/pumping for more than four months), and I really don’t like to cook. I wish I did, but I don’t. If it wasn’t such a budget-buster, I’d pick up to-go for dinner every other night!

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 7, 2017 / 3:08 am

      Kayla, I think we are the same person 🙂

  9. Anna McClinton
    August 7, 2017 / 4:44 am

    Carli, I really appreciate your transparency! Being honest, real moms is the way we should be. Parenting is stressful enough without having to keep up appearances to avoid being judged by the “perfect” moms! I’m definitely not the mom I had planned on being. I was not going to be that mom that fixed three different meals to pacify picky eaters. Well, turns out I am practically a short order cook?. My oldest had major allergies, so I started off having to cook specifically for him. After having four kids (and a picky husband), I gave up! It isn’t worth the fight!
    My other biggie- I assumed coming from a strict household, and being a teacher, that I would be a very firm disciplinarian. Turns out I’m a softee. I have good kids, and they know our expectations, but I’m a sucker for my babies. Turns out we all have to find our own style?.

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 8, 2017 / 3:04 am

      You are so right, Anna! Turns out I’m a short order cook and a softie, too 🙂 I love my babies!!

  10. Lysley Duncan
    August 7, 2017 / 11:29 am

    Oh Carli!! I can relate to each and everyone of these but the nanny part lol atenting is so so hard but we just take it day by day!! Love you girl!!

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 8, 2017 / 3:05 am

      Love you too, Lysley! Your kids are so precious and polite!

  11. Lysley Duncan
    August 7, 2017 / 11:29 am

    That’s supppse to say parenting lol

  12. August 7, 2017 / 1:31 pm

    You go mama! I confess to all of these, too! I felt the same way about pumping and NEVER nursed Libby after day one in the hospital. I think that’s a working mom thing — AND if you are pumping, your hands are tied and you are “off the clock” either at work or at home for approx. 20 minutes. That way, I also was able to donate my excess to other moms who were struggling due to surgery, adoption, premature deliveries, etc…

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 8, 2017 / 3:07 am

      I miss the “I’m going to pump, leave me alone” excuse 🙂

  13. Casey Earnest
    August 8, 2017 / 2:04 am

    It is so hard to work a full time job and be a full time Mommy. I feel like I am in a constant whirlwind and get nothing done. I am also on anxiety medicine and it has been a life changer for me as well. I don’t always fold the clean laundry. I tell my oldest to find his underwear in the pile of clothes, “it is like a treasure hunt!” I tell him. If I get to daycare a few minutes early, to pick them up, I will sit in the car and close my eyes for a minute before I go inside and get them.. hehe.

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 8, 2017 / 3:14 am

      Girl you are doing the impossible. I remember, everyday is a whirlwind! You are working essentially 3 full time jobs (work, parenting, housework). Oh, and I have you beat on the daycare thing… I would take a sick day from work but still take my kids to daycare. I called it my mental health day.

  14. August 14, 2017 / 1:32 pm

    This is soooo spot on! My mom is my daycare and a few times I’ve purposely taken a day off of work but didn’t tell her and still drop off the kids for a day to myself. I honestly can’t imagine being home with them all day, every day. My time at work saves my sanity.

    • Carli Best
      Author
      August 16, 2017 / 12:35 pm

      Yes! It’s the hardest job ever! I personally think it’s healthy to have some space from each other.

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